[Source: Stella Pictures]
I know it's not nice to judge others and I reeeeally try not to. But there are certain choices that my fellow citizens of the world make that I feel are just so contrived and awful that they are begging for criticism.
Begging.
Now, I'm probably going to offend some people, and for that I apologise. I want you to remember that good people make pretentious choices sometimes, so calling someone a wanker doesn't necessarily make them a bad person. My friend M is a really lovely, sunny, fun and kind person but she named her first born son 'Jet'. Tosser.
Kids in trilbies.
Buying designer clothes for 'the quality'
Adopting a hyper-sculpted beard with the ironic excuse 'I hate shaving'
Drinking designer water like antipodes or Bling H2O or Tap
Hungry models pretending they eat
Wearing earmuffs in Sydney
Men over 18 working the 'emo' look
Doing up your shoelaces under the tongue... because bows are so unfashionable?
But, really, it's hard to think of bigger wankers than people who fork out mega bucks buying designer clothes their kids...
Exhibit A: "Shopping at a Sydney Bonza Brats children's wear store last week, Double Bay mother Anna Macri admits it is not unusual for her to run up $600 on her American Express card in one shopping session, collecting designer pieces for her four-year-old daughter, Francesca, and 18-month-old Gabriella. "It's expensive, but the stuff does last the distance," she says. "With the first one, you do go psycho spending, but now my 18-month-old is wearing the clothes." [Source: SMH, April 17, 2007] OOOOh, sorry, so you're spending $600 on kids designer clothes so you can hand them down? Because generations of families spending $10 on kids clothes have obviously not been able to do that. Noooow I get it.What sort of stuff do you find frustratingly wanky?
