Jikana Damaru

Awakening the 'I Wish' Beast

I know, I know, I KNOW that I'm supposed to be living my own life and not worrying about what everyone else it up to. As my mum always told us, "you do your thing and let them do their thing." In an ideal world, in an ideal me, I would be doing all the things that make me content and I wouldn't even have a clue what everyone else's 'thing' was. I wouldn't have a clue.

I don't know if it's this blogging business or if it's just plain life business, but lately I'm not doing that. Lately, I just can't stop comparing myself to others. I just can't.

My life is a good one - an unbelievably good one - and I'm happy as a kid planting sunflowers with it. I'm happy, I think I do okay.

But then...

That girl's got so many friends.
That girl's so smart and funny.
She's making her own skirts.
She's growing her own minestrone.
That one owns a holiday house.
That one feeds her kids quinoa.

Many etceteras later...

That one, this one, she and her. I can't stop looking and it's making me think 'I should be doing that too'. Like all the girls who are doing great things could possibly be rolled into one great, big, giant achiever who does all those things put together. That great, giant achiever should be me.

I wish, I wish, I wish. I wish I could do this, I wish I could do that, I wish I was funnier, prettier, cleverer, nicer, friendlier. For all it's wonderfulness, blogging is a poisoned apple sometimes. It allows us to delve into so many lives, not just a few. More, more, more. It awakens the 'I Wish' Beast and she's a beast that will not rest.

That Beast makes me dissatisfied with who I am and what I do. Even if I'm not especially into the things that I'm looking at, that Beast makes me think that I should be into them. The 'I Wish' Beast makes me wish that I could do lots of things that I don't do and even more things that I don't especially want to do.

It is a very complicated beast.

What I mostly wish is that I could grow-up and stop comparing myself to others like I'm fifteen years old and desperate for my life to start. I get angry with myself. For godsake, when will I be enough?

Do you do this?

Does it make you feel angry with yourself sometimes?

[Image by Marta Bevacqua]

My Easter decorations part 2

Continuing my Easter colour scheme of mint, peach and gold, I designed an Easter bunny lace print in mint and white which Hello Canvas kindly printed onto a large canvas for me. I've started making paper flowers to adorn my Easter tree with and filled plastic eggs with pretty candy, all of which I will be sharing with you here this week, so stay tuned!

Also don't forget there's still time to enter my Oodles of Eggs, giveaway.

Have a sweet day!

Party Pooper

It's the weekend... you've been invited to a good friend's child's 2nd birthday party. It's in a smallish apartment, and you really don't know anyone else there apart from the host. There are other small children there too, of course. They are playing happily with the little plastic trikes and toys and their parents mingle comfortably with wine glasses in hand.

Your 18 month old son barrels into the scene and within minutes has tipped a bowl of crisps over the carpet, had a screaming temper fit on the floor and scratched a large gash in the face of a little toddler girl you have never before met because she was playing in the little car he decides he wants for himself.

Do you,

(a) Shout and scream at your toddler;
(b) Smack his bottom;
(c) Apologise profusely to host and parents and carry screaming toddler out of apartment for time out, or
(d) Do nothing?

I took the (c) option but it felt hollow. How do you explain to someone you have never met that your child really is a beautiful little boy with no intentional malice when they have just scratched a chunk out of their precious little girl's face?

The mother didn't say a word as I attempted an apology, just gave me a half glance and requested Detol from the host and my friend to attempt to repair the damage. Detol, like my child has rabies.

But I couldn't judge her. I know would have done the same. I would have been horrified if the shoe were on the other foot. And, before Elliott, when it was just Fern (who at three has never scratched anyone in her life), I would have cast immediate judgement at the parents of such a child for 'allowing' such inappropriate behaviour.

But now I am the parent of such a child. And I was mortified. Embarrassed. Horrified, actually. And, as a room full of people watched with interest to see my reaction to this spectacle I wanted to crawl into a hole and quite literally die.

Folks, I did not raise my children to be violent. I hate violence. I can't even watch a movie with any violence in it without leaving the room. I do believe in discipline, but I am at a loss for how to discipline an 18 month old child, and teach him that this behaviour is not appropriate. Elliott is an energetic, vivacious, otherwise adorable and loveable little person who - in social situations - does not understand the difference between right and wrong.

Any advice you can offer will be gratefully accepted; what do YOU do when your child behaves inappropriately in public? What do you do when your child smacks another child? And how do you deter such behaviour in the first instance? Please tell me I am not the only one who has had this experience and that it is not my dreadful parenting that has made my child this way?! xx

Pretty Fresh Easter

This week on Flickr Faves Sunday, I bring you some pretty fresh Easter decorations from the gorgeous bowl of Easter eggs to the chicks in the Easter Tree!

Some beautiful shots from my Flickr favourites

The pretty bowl of eggs in Easter Egg Tea Party - Day 105/365 - Week 6/52 by christopher_wood
The adorable Easter tree in Easter decoration by Sweet Corner1
The wonderfully styled single Easter lily by MayaLee Photography
The pretty egg filled cups in Easter Eggs by abbeyroaddesigns

Have a sweet day!

Meet my girls

We've had chickens for a few of months now and we just love them. They are the ideal family pet - social, fun and no trouble whatsoever. I am not an 'animal' person by any stretch of the imagination, but our sweet little flock has already enhanced our family life immeasurably. There is something so relaxing about watching them forage and play and I am learning an awful lot about social practices from observing the strict criteria of the chicken world. Besides, keeping hens is just so darn 'country'.

We collected our chickadees from New Leaf Nursery - the most delightful sustainable nursery in one of those funny little 'rural' pockets that are dotted about Sydney. The owners set up the place as a 'children's garden nursery' and the little scooters, bikes, pictorial signs and petting area are just a joy for children and parents alike. The place is crazy with herbs and vegetables and chickens, ducks and quail roaming about the place. The cockadoodledoo of a glorious rooster or two is never far away.

So, we brought home three chickens initially - one for each Tsunami. For reasons unknown, Cappers' chicken Peep died in the night about three weeks ago, so we went back and brought in two more chicks, who are about 10 weeks old now. So we have Daffy Duck (Badoo's, an Isa Brown) and Benjamin (Maxi's, a Wynandotte - and wouldn't you know it, I keep calling Benjamin a 'he' too) who are both about 18 weeks, although we're pretty sure Benji is a bantam. The two new chicks are Sparkle (Cappers') and Chirp (everyone's) and they have only this week been invited to hang out with the older two during the day. That may well be because they are both bigger than Bantam Benji already...

Keeping chickens is such a simple, almost instinctual, practice. If you don't look too closely at them, they are really rather cute. I was initially very scared of all the flapping and the worry about whether we were 'doing it right', but now we just get on with it and enjoy watching our flock do just the same. In the end, whist initially nervous, I gained a lot of courage from reading Mrs Bok's lovely blog, The Bok Flock, and then we just went ahead and did it one day.

Speaking of 'flock', when I told Maxi that we needed to replace Peep with two new chickens as it was very difficult and lonely to introduce a single chicken to an existing flock, he snorted and said, "what, our two chickens. Some flock." Which seemed like the kind of thing a teenager ought to be pointing out, rather than a seven year old boy. That boy, I tell you!

Are you chicken keepers?

Homespun Style by Selina Lake

This week I'm reviewing Homespun Style by Selina Lake, from illustrated lifestyle publishers Ryland Peters & Small and CICO Books. Selina Lake is a freelance interior & lifestyle stylist based in London, and has featured in many magazines and catalogues. Selina is also the author of 'Romantic Style' and best selling 'Bazaar Style', both shot with photographer, Debi Treloar. I chose to review this her third book as I love Selina's style!

Homespun style is a homely, crafty look that has been given a modern twist with bright colours, whimsical patterns and textural fabrics: an interior style that is unique to the individual creating it. But don't worry if painting or crafting is not your thing, Selina shares with you an abundance of great places to source one of a kind gems to create this look for yourself.

The book is split into three main chapters, starting with "Elements" of the look. In this chapter Selina covers homespun modern craft, how to use colour & pattern and how to customize & recycle. In Modern Craft she shows you some great ideas on storing all your craft needs in a creative, aesthetically pleasing way. In Colour & Pattern there are some fabulous shots of patchwork walls and cushions and in Customize & Recycle she shows you cute vintage bunting ideas and adorable cupcake wrapper garlands.

The second chapter "Details" looks at homespun textiles, furniture & lighting and display. In Textiles there are some whimsical cushions that layer crochet over prints and delicately adorned buttons give a chair a new lease of life! Furniture & Lighting is all about choosing display furniture and the quirkiest lampshades. For great wall art and statement pieces, Display has all your needs covered.

The last chapter "Spaces" shows how the homespun style can be used in all the rooms in your house including creative spaces, outdoor living and children's rooms. Kitchen spaces are kept practical and fun with lots of bright colours and an array of prints while children's rooms are adapted and changed to suit their evolving lives of baby, toddler to confident school goer.

Homespun Style by Selina Lake is an adorable hardback book full of bright and beautiful, unique, inspiring decorating ideas. At a recommended price of £19.99, I think this hardback book is a brilliant buy as it is has so many great tips and I can't stop pouring over the gorgeous photos!

Some of my favourite shots:

Craft room storage

Tea Party

Wall art

Cupcake wrapper garland

I am delighted to be featured in her inspiring blogs section

Please note that my opinions are my own and I am not paid for these reviews (apart from receiving a free book, of course!).

To go with this fabulous new book Selina is having a book party and homespun market event next month, which I for one can't wait to go to!

Have a sweet day!

Happy Birthday Sofia

Miss Sofia turned 6 yesterday - she also lost her first tooth during the week - both made for significant celebrations in the house! In true Sofia form she allowed me to capture some lovely shots of her in the backyard.

She quite regularly performs the work of the devil but boy has she got the face of an angel!

Happy Birthday my beautiful girl xx