1. No matter how meticulously you plan, something will always go wrong.
2. Learning to write letters correctly is easier on a vertical surface. Let your children practice with their index finger on frosted morning windows or in the shower after wiping shaving foam on the glass. It's loads of fun and it's easier to see the way they are forming the letters and help them get it right (especially if they are writing on your bedroom window on Sunday morning and you are still conveniently lying in bed.) Please note, I take no responsibility if your cherub runs with this idea and starts tagging your neighbourhood.
3. A colonoscopy is performed while the patient lies on their left side.
4. The lyrics to Nancy Sinatra's Sugar Town begin "I got some troubles but they won't last / I'm gonna lay right down here in the grass / And pretty soon all my troubles will pass / 'cause I'm in shoo-shoo-shoo, shoo-shoo-shoo / Shoo-shoo, shoo-shoo, shoo-shoo Sugar Town." Or, if you're Cappers, "shoe-shoe, shoe-shoe, shoe-shoe Booger down."
An aside: this reminds me of The Badoo earlier in the week. She had a little something on her nose which I reached over to brush off. She said "No, I get it" and promptly stuck the finger in, pulled out a glob of snot and handed it to me. Ah, The Badoo.
5. "Childhood is that wonderful time of life when all you need to do to lose weight is take a bath." Richard Zera. I know this quotable quote isn't strictly a learning, but I just love it.
6. OCD* affects 2 to 3 per cent of people in Australia at some time in their lives.
7. Roses not only need a sunny spot and lots of food, they need air flow to survive. This is why my roses never really 'took off' (read: dropped all their leaves, glared accusingly at me and started to shrivel.) Darren, our new gardener (that sounds so Maxabella of the Manor - really, he's popping in for a few hours each month because I have no idea what I'm doing despite telling everyone I meet that I love gardening and am an excellent gardener) has moved the roses to a new airflowy spot. I'll keep you posted.
8. If you break one of the ten commandments you need to give God a lamb. A "nice, big, juicy lamb." (Thank you, Maxi-Taxi)
9. Most kitchens have more germs on the counter tops than in the average toilet. This is due to failure to sanitise the dish rag after every clean, resulting in the spreading of harmful bacteria from one end of the kitchen to the other. You can sanitise the dish rag either by using disinfectant or by wetting it and microwaving it on high for two minutes. Allow to cool before picking it up (the article didn't actually say that, but I thought I should add it after an incident that occurred in Maxabellaland on Tuesday evening at approximately 8 o'clock.)
10. If you don't like clutter, don't buy it in the first place.
* Disclaimer: this learning is in no way related to my own bed leaping antics or other random behaviours as
[Image by Banksy]