As the Tsunamis are getting older, I've realised how tense I used to be on any given day. I was literally locked up in the shoulders with what I thought was worry about their safety and wellbeing, but now I know was actually worry that they would ask me to play with them.
Really.
I cannot stand most of the baby- toddler kids' games. Oh, I could go a few rounds of shake the rattle, ring o ring o rosey and even a jack was quiet down in his box. And I'm an engineering marvel when it comes to designing and implementing complicated train tracks for Thomas et al. But ask me to peek a boo, read Spot Loves His Mum over and over, build a lego tower or even pretend to be tickle monster and I go to pieces. Yes, I think they are adorably cute at this age, but still it was an effort to engage. I used to grit my teeth and get on with it, fake, overly-happy smile plastered all over my terrified face, but I'm sure the Tsunamis could see right through me.
Have I damaged them for life?
These days they are far more interesting*. We learn letters, we write, we draw, we paint, we read books with an actual storyline, we play hide and seek. A lot of the time we do our own thing 'together' and they love that too.
As a result, I'm much more settled and happy just being with them. And it's made me realise more than ever that 'it's a marathon, not a sprint'. We first started saying this right about the time Maxi-Taxi came home from the hospital and LOML and I would look at this tiny little thing and say 'soooo, when are his parents coming to pick him up again?' And when things were difficult or confusing or torturous, we'd remind ourselves 'it's a marathon, not a sprint' - hoping that even though we were clearly losing the 'sprint', the marathon was ours for the taking.
We're in this parenting thing for the long haul and there will be times in our children's lives when we're not in our element at all. I found I wasn't a natural 'baby - toddler' parent, but I'm loving the 'pre-school+' parenting. Down the track, I might not love the 'pre-puberty' years, but perhaps the teens and I will gel. You see? It's a marathon and sometimes we've got to dig deep, get the head down and plow ourselves on. Other times we'll be looking around, on a high, enjoying the run.
And, oh, what a run it is!
Are you in your element with the baby/ toddler set? Or are you 'growing' your babies into acceptable play mates like I shamefully do?
* The Badoo is not. She is only two. Luckily her older brother and sister are only too happy to accommodate her dear two year old 'Where's Badoo?' play requirements. Unlike her selfish mother...
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Hi there! I rewound this post at the Fibro on 29.1.2011
