I thought I had motherhood sorted. I'd been a nanny for ten years. I knew kids. I knew mothers. So naturally, I knew motherhood, right? Wrong.
From the moment my daughter was born, I was vulnerable. I was fragile. I was a mama, forever.
They nurse placed her on my chest, and I cried. She was my daughter. Everything I'd ever dreamed of, hoped for, wanted... was here. In my arms.
I look up at my husband and for the first time ever, I saw him cry too. We didn't need to say anything... we knew each other's thoughts. We were parents. We were in love. We were vulnerable.
Each day my daughter grew, and so did my heart and my vulnerability. What I thought I knew about motherhood, what I expected and what I had planned, were very different to the reality. Not better, not worse... just different.
My little girl has taught me love. I loved my husband with all my heart, but this love I have for her is very different. She has taught me patience. Just when I think I can take no more, she smiles or makes me laugh... and I come undone. She has taught me pure joy. The kinda joy that makes your face ache, your heart sing and your soul dance. She's taught me strength.
It still amazes me that such a little person can teach me so much about the world. To see things through her little eyes. To get down and see the world from a little person's eye view. To love, to live, to really laugh. My life is better for having her in my life. She makes me want to be better, to love more and to smile.
♥
Thank you so much for guest posting, Chantelle. Patience, joy, laugh, love, live, dance... you have a gift for drawing out the essence of what it is to be a mother.
If you haven't visited Fat Mum Slim before (and if you haven't where on earth have you been?!) I suggest you race flat out over there right now. You're in for a real treat!