This article in the Wall Street Journal* by Amy Chua is brilliant. It presents a completely different view on parenting, one that to me seems so radical that I am still taking it in. I literally did a double-take at some of her words. There are many ways to parent and I don't think we talk about the different styles enough. I am fascinated when a new way of doing things is opened up to me.
Key quotes from the article include:
What Chinese parents understand is that nothing is fun until you're good at it.
To get good at anything you have to work, and children on their own never want to work...
Chinese parents demand perfect grades because they believe that their child can get them.
As a parent, one of the worst things you can do for your child's self-esteem is to let them give up.
The techniques used by Chinese parents are completely different to our Western parenting style, but possibly not so different to the way our own parents were raised. They make sense. They really do. I liked what Amy had to say, but I wonder how 'success' is actually defined by Chinese parents. It seems they have more of a focus on 'succeeding' in academic and professional life than I have. Certainly the parents appear to strictly define what their child's life will be like and then mold their child to suit this expectation, which I have quite an issue with. But I can also see that there is a strong emphasis on insisting their child be the absolute best they can be and I think that has enormous merit. "They assume strength, not fragility," explains Amy.
I just wonder if LOML and I would ever have the stamina (and the guts!) to parent the Tsunamis 'Chinese-style'. It would take a lot of patience and fortitude. I wonder how differently those Tsunamis of mine would turn out under the Chinese method? Would I be pleased or faintly horrified?
It makes you wonder about the influence we have as parents and the critical role we play in shaping our children's lives. I think a balance between the Chinese and Western styles would be the ideal. Strict, but gentle. Conform... but in your own way.
Do you think that sort of balance would even be possible?
* I can assure you that The Wall Street Journal is not a daily read for me. That's why I married a banker! I often get a funny little article sent to me via LOML who has very different reading preferences to me. Always food for thought.
[Image from weheartit- link through is some blocked Russian site so can't trace the origin any further. Sorry!]