Okaaaaay then. I've got to get it out.
I'm judgey.
I know it's the worst possible offence of all possible worst offences, but I do judge others. Inwardly.
I wouldn't dream of being unsupportive enough to criticise someone outright, so I will nod and smile and say nothing. But inwardly...
Yesterday, for instance, I looked after six children for the day (my three plus three others). The oldest child was eight. We had a great day, but you can imagine the limp state I was in when five o'clock pick up time rolled around.
And rolled straight on by.
It was nearer to six by the time the first parent arrived to pick up her two (she had called to apologise at ten to five so all was well) and closer to seven thirty by the time the Third Child was collected by his. By then Third Child was fed and bathed and wearing a pair of Max-pyjamas, ready for bed along with the Tsunamis. Third Child thought this was just fantastic fun and, of course, at no time did I let on to him that his Mum was hours past pick-up time. In truth I had to hide my anxiety because there was absolutely no contact from his mother and no answer on her mobile despite my many calls and one or two (okay, four) texts.
I was dragging out the sofa bed when Third Child's mum finally arrived. She was apologetic (but not apologetic enough). She simply said "sorry I'm late, you know how it is."
I said: "don't worry, it happens, he's been a good boy all day."
I thought: how what is? Being two and half hours late to collect your boy without contact or explanation? No, actually, I really don't know how that is.
My main point of judgement, however, was that at no time did she say anything whatsoever to her freshly-scrubbed and proud pyjama-wearing son, apart from "Get your shoes, we're in a hurry." Not a "How was your day, honey?" or an "I've missed you all day, what did you get up to?" or even a "Look at you in your friend's pyjamas!"... nothing.
See, I'm judgey. I judge all the time and this is just one example. It's by no means a clean finger that I'm pointing with but sometimes I'm just not interested in putting my "she probably had a rough day and isn't usually like this" cap on. I'm not interested in pulling on my "not until you've walked in her shoes" shoes either. I'm not even interested in wearing my "whatever works for her and her family" pants for this one either.
See? Judgey.
I'm not going to pretend that I don't do it.
I think everyone does it, but we don't talk about it because ironically we're afraid that other people will judge us for it.
So, we say "don't worry, it happens, he's been a good boy all day."
[Image from bluquote - I take no responsibility for the terrible grammar!]