This year the Sydney Royal Easter Show wasn't about the rides or the show bags or even the wood chopping. The fairy floss, the demented fairies on sticks, the cheese sticks... all those fairies and sticks, they all took a back seat.
Because this year, the Sydney Royal Easter Show was all about the Daisy Dukes.
Pack after pack after pack of teenage girl gangs sauntered past in little, bitty denim cut-offs showing lashings and lashings of suddenly very large thigh. Seriously, do those pants look good on anyone?
It was easily less than 16 degrees in the cattle yard, thrumming with rain and still the Easter shorts parade went on. That darn Katy Perry, this was all her fault. Slashed shorts with the pockets hanging down the regulation 3cm lower than the actual short. The chain-store examples even had beading and studs on the inside-out pockets, thereby removing any semblance of nonchalance from the outfit.
The result was a line of Katys who were all so samey-same-same that I was surprised all the little Biebers running around could actually tell them apart. Did they find all those purplish, dimpled thighs hot, hot, hot or like me did they wish the Katys would swap their very-shorts for something a little more... flattering. Even the one girl in a million who could carry off the Dukes would have looked better in a cute little mini or a pair of skinnies.
Next time I'm tempted to indulge in foolish 'back when I was young and could wear absolutely anything' nostalgia, I will remind myself of those masses of short-challenged girls (and my own ill-advised green denim extra-mini skirt circa 1986). Trust me, thighs that need ample coverage can happen at any age and Daisy Dukes are not our friends.
Do I sound like I'm eighty? Or just from the eighties?
What was the most unflattering garment you wore as a teen? Did you think you looked hot?
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