With a blocked head, runny nose and voice like a rasp, I ducked out from work to buy a box of Codral. I haven’t bought Codral in years, but it occurred to me that if I was going to do the socially expected thing and ‘punch through’ this cold and infect the entire office in the process, I may as well be comfortable while I’m doing it.
After the Pharmacist and I got through the multitude of questions that all purchases require these days (Name or generic brand? Small or large box? Day and night or just day or night?) he said, “What photo ID have you got?”
“I beg your pardon?”
“You need photo ID with your address on it to buy Codral in Australia,” he explained. “It contains xezqxreanolex.*”
I don’t know why it bothered me as much as it did. Well, I didn’t actually have any ID with me – so that’s a start – and my head was pounding like a mutha so I will say I was not my (ordinarily very nice but sometimes really not) self at the time. I may or may not have muttered something about Australia becoming governed by Mary Poppins and something else about whether the Pharmacist was happy being Door Bitch and stomped out of the pharmacy. I can assure you that knocking over the toothpaste stand by the front door was entirely unintentional and very inconvenient as it meant I had to help the Pharmacist slash Door Bitch pick up all the cartons.
“It’s a dangerous drug if not taken correctly,” he murmured, avoiding eye contact.
“Yes, I understand that. I’m sorry about the toothpaste.”
“I’m sorry you don’t have ID,” he returned, generously.
What it all boils down to for me (and I write this through the fog of my unmedicated head cold so I absolutely reserve the right to retract the lot), is that I’m really just a little bit tired of all the rules we have in our fair country. I’ve travelled the world extensively and I can say with certainty that I never came across a country that had as little faith in its people as Australia. We are so babied here that it makes me want to chuck a tanty in aisle five.
We seem to assume the worst in people and govern for the lowest possible denominator. It’s almost like as a country we are trying to actively raze to the ground all trace of common sense and build a rule on top of it. Rule after rule after rule is being made and accepted and we aren't asking for so much as a spoonful of sugar to help them go down.
Teachers can't give children a hug in the playground when they skin their knee. You can't buy firecrackers. A speed camera is standing by just waiting to catch you paying more attention to the traffic around you than your speedometre. It's not your choice to wear a seat belt to save your own life. Forget the wind in your hair, you'll get fined if you don't wear a helmet when you ride your bike (I would say 'why not make us wear helmets in cars?' but I am scared it will happen). They'll fine you for swearing in Victoria. We're even fined if we don't vote for the right to exercise our democratic right to freedom of speech.
I’m not sorry I didn’t think to take ID to the Pharmacy to buy medication for the common cold. I’m just sorry that I was supposed to.
Do you agree the Australia babies its citizens?
If you’re not from around here, how’s the ratio of rules in country?
What rule does your society have that irks you the most?**
* Or maybe it was Phenylephrine.
** Mine is not this. I’ll save my erkiest Aussie rule for another post!
[Image found here]