I thought I might come back to blogging as a kinder, nicer, less judgey me.
Yeah. I don't think I made it.
You see, I need to talk about those parents (see, my use of 'those' is immediately judgey) who talk a lot about their own amazing, red-caped gats* but have no interest whatsoever in feigning interest in yours.
Don't they know the rules?
'Angelica is doing an incredible job at learning to read,' she says. 'She is quite possibly the most gifted reader in the history of the English speaking world. I wouldn't like to say the whole world as that seems a little delusional, but she is just so talented.'
Now, in normal parent conversation, we all know that the rule is that you have to take turns in these conversations. She gets around 2 minutes to talk about how brilliant her child is and then it's your turn. It's the law of playground chit chat.
'Oh, that's great,' you say, feigning interest. 'I know what you mean because Stevenson is at that kind of level with somersaults. The other day a girl who looked like she could be a real Olympic gymnast except she was chubby said that she thought he must be at least three to be doing somersaults like that - at least 3 - and he's only 2 and a half. Do you think I should consider enrolling him in a high school with a strong gymnastics program?'
And on it goes.
See, unless you're related or super-close to the child in question, no-one really, truly cares what other kids are doing or not doing but we do need to know so they can serve as a yardstick to our own. Depending on the level of achievement, we'll either feel like she's a freak of nature and really deserves to be a gat. Or we'll feel like her feat is certainly do-able with a bit of hard work and we'll have a quiet word to our offspring about picking up their game.
Either way, the rule is that you have to patiently listen to the Parental Boast so you get to do your own boast. It's the only fair and honourable thing to do.
So why don't some mums get it?
Are some kids really just that much better than the others?
* Gifted and Talented. I find the whole GAT thing endlessly judgeable.**
** Disclaimer: I sadly have a child who has been labelled a GAT.
[Image by Monika Elena]