Me interviewing Me


If I had to offer three pieces of advice to a girl just reaching adulthood, what would I tell them?*

This question kept me awake last night. Me interviewing Me often keeps me up and busy in the middle of the night. Do you do that too? Ask yourself questions as if you were being interviewed and the masses were hanging on your every word over their morning cuppa? Hmmmm, perhaps that's just me...

In particular, I used to be at my most witty and charming when being questioned for the 'Upfront' section of the Good Weekend and was gutted when they removed that section during one of their thoughtless makeovers. They've replaced it with 'You Do What?', which examines all the fascinating jobs lucky ducks get to do (like run Lord Howe Island) while the rest of us get to answer "yeah, I sit around on my fat arse all day typing acronyms into a computer and wondering why my life has no meaning." Hmmmm, perhaps that's also just me...

Anyway, in the spirit of Me interviewing Me, I like to revisit that old Upfront column from time to time and thought I'd share my latest (most witty and charming) answers with you. Look away now if you have a low tolerance for boredom.

My earliest memory is... driving from the Territory to Far North Queensland for Christmas. My little sister is still a baby in her moses basket on the seat between Mum and Dad upfront. My older sister and I are sitting in the back of the station wagon on a mattress, watching the brown land whizz by.

My school report usually said... "Easily distracted". Probably due to the fact that I was interviewing myself in class constantly.

My first relationship... was all in my head. Thank god.

I don't like talking about... people's dreams. If you think this is boring, imagine if I'd started this post with 'last night I dreamed I was a...'

My most treasured possession is... my creativity. Is that a possession? Probably not. Okay, I'd say my children's early artworks.

My father always told me... that Maths was logical. Such lies.

In the movie of my life, I'd be played by... some poor B-list smuck who thought the gig would be more interesting than waitering. How wrong she was.

I wish I had... the ability to hear through walls without using a glass. Not that I'd know if the glass trick works, of course. 

I wish I hadn't... eaten approximately 10,000 kilos of chocolate over my lifetime. As soon as it's swallowed, the memory is gone. It's like getting fat for nothing.**

My most humiliating moment was... probably unfolding as soon as I hit 'Publish' on this post.

My guiltiest pleasure is... see 'I wish I hadn't' above.

My last meal would be... savoured. Or probably just wolfed down like a starving mongrel dog like all my other meals, old habits and all that. Regardless, I'd be eating anything that I didn't have to cook myself.

Can you believe we're only half-way down the Upfront list? I think I'll save the other half for another post, but in the meantime, dare you to answer the same questions! Copy and paste these questions in the comment box:

My earliest memory is... 
My school report usually said...
My first relationship...
I don't like talking about... 
My most treasured possession is... 
My father always told me... 
In the movie of my life, I'd be played by... 
I wish I had...
I wish I hadn't...
My most humiliating moment was...
My guiltiest pleasure is...
My last meal would be... 

And answer away! Or do your own post and pop the URL into the comments so I can go and check out your interview.

Me interviewing Me is really rather fun! Promise!

* Today I would say: being alone is different to being lonely, get to know yourself; Marry the man who makes you feel single; Be grateful for the little things because that's where happiness can be found. But tomorrow... well, I'll have to think about that tonight!

** With kudos to my Mum, for this is her favourite expression. She rates many things as 'getting fat for nothing' - dark chocolate, blue cheese and pasta carbonara among them.

[Image found here]