I'm in a meeting, sitting around an oval table with eight blue suits, jackets cast aside. The room is hot and cloying, but not as cloying as the conversation. Words like swords hurtling from mouth to mouth to mouth. Jargon sharpens the blade.
Heads cast downwards, contemplating fates.
"Managing up" is the word of the day. If I hear one more person say it I'm going to manage something right up their bottom. When did this strange expression become the most important part of our job? The thing we discuss the most.
A blue suit has been talking for what seems like a year on the riveting subject of KPIs. A sigh goes around the table like a Mexican wave. I'm not the only one left wondering in here, but I'm the only one who can't seem to look anyone else in the eye.
"I'll manage that up the food chain to keep everyone in the loop and maintain synergy," says the blue suit.
My chair clatters awkwardly to the floor as I suddenly stand up. All eyes shift my way like missiles trained on a target.
"I don't want to be in this meeting," I announce.
I pick up the chair, place it neatly back under the desk and walk out the door, contemplating fates.
[Image found on Mocha Cafe]